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Average Joe's FC was founded in 2002 after the JCB challenged us to a match at their home patch, The Jesmond Centre. The original team comprised of Darren Gilbert, Martin Johnston, Mike Westwaters, Daniel Wiseman and Big Jim. Unfortunately the early matches were hard to bear for Joe's as Wiseman (aka Jackie Chan) found it hard to keep his composure on the pitch and lacked the common sense to play at this level.
The Early Matches
The JCB, playin in their home-made kit of white t-shirts from George, dominated the first match using their main weapon, Graeme 'Jorg Albertz' Michael, rattling in the goals. Joe's ahem 'dangerous' strikeforce of Jackie Chan and Big Jim jus couldn't get past the JCB's man-mountain Mikey Hepburn. Also Eric Potts managed to deceive the Joe's backline on a few occasions through his thin-ness so the usually reliable MJ was completely outfoxed by the fly. RESULT: JCB victory
The 2nd match was along similar lines to the 1st with anothr jammy JCB victory.
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Transfer Window Signings
After a couple of early defeats, changes had to be made if Average Joe's were to succeed. The first move to change the venue away from the slums of the JCB's Jesmond Centre to the higher class Strikers Indoor Football Centre. This allowed the matches to become 7 a side. Joe's hired a manager, Andrew 'Mo' Morrison to coach the side as he was unable to play because of a brutal injury to one of his nails. Unfortunately, Joe's lost their star player, Big Jim, who decided to retire from the game to pursue his career in turning trees into cabinets. Their was only one man to fill the big gap left by Big Jim both metaphorically and physically, and that was Liam Shearer (aka Fatboy aka Rik Waller). The Joe's management team and board of directors had to fork out 6 steak pies, 4 sausage rolls, 13 tubs of ice cream and a chocolate gateaux with wee fudgie bits to pull Shearer away from his beloved TV FC. Manager Morrison then negotiated a deal to prise Michael 'Syke' Cocker away from Harchester United and also persuaded the legendary Steven Mason away from Real Madrid where he clocked up over 1500 appearances and won the World Cup 3 times with his samba skills with Brazil. Morrison didn't want any slackers in his team so also bought reserve players itching to get a game. Firstly he signed Bruce Mason from some pishy amateur team to give confidence to Jackie Chan so he could say despite being awful at football at least he wasn't gay. Secondly he recruited Kyle McTree from Liverpool, mainly just to get the balls down when the they get stuck in the net above the goal after Jackie Chan's shooting. Finally Mo also decided to pull his boots back on after just managing to come through his operation to save his nail. At one point they thot they may have to remove the nail, which Mo couldn't have coped with and probably would've topped himself.
The Results Of Mo's Hard Line Management
4 in a row to Joe's!! Yes Morrison's hard work paid off with a flurry of victories. Firstly tho they had to suffer an embarrassing defeat where a lack of commitment hit Joe's hard. Only 6 players turned up and Morrison was absent after pulling a 'Steve Paterson' and was too hungover to coach aftr one 2 many poof juices. The six players included two loan signings: Podger from Borussia Munchonsomeburgersbach, who's lack of fitness punished Joe's; and Chris Wilson from Wankers XI. Both really struggled to keep up with the pace of the game and with the added addition of having Jackie Chan in the team it was really a case of 3 vs 7. However Morrison recovered from his hangover to lead the Joe's to a penalty shoot-out victory with Waller the hero, saving the majority of the JCB's pens with his frame taking up the whole goal. The next game saw the debut of Steven Mason and this proved to be the telling difference as he tore Potts to shreds down the left wing. Another victory for Joe's as the series was back to 3-2 JCB. The comeback was complete in November 2004 when an understrength Joe's demolished the JCB. Missing star striker Rick Waller, Morrison had to draft in Bruce Mason who surprised many with a good performance. He linked well with his brother Steve on the left hand side but yet again it was everyone's favourite triplet that received the man of the match award. The game was complete when Joe's rubbed salt into the wounds with Jackie Chan grabbing a hat-trick to the embarrassment of JCB defender Mikey Hepburn. One of his goals was a screamer that came right off his toe into thye top corner of the net. The most recent game took place in the Christmas break when Average Joe's completed their series comeback to take a 4-3 lead. Joe's started incredibly well and marched into a 3 goal lead. However as soon as Jackie Chan came outfield, the tables turned. It was evident that he wasn't up to the same standard as his previous performance and Joe's hopes were pinned on Waller who saved them from an embarrassing defeat with an amazing 7 goals.
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